But when it comes down to it, people aren't gendered stereotypes. People are people, and if you know anything about people you'll know that people are difficult. Plus, when you're in the straight dating realm, it's usually pretty easy to tell who your perceived dating pool is.
You'll constantly be asking yourself if you just made a platonic friend or if they're interested in something else. You'll always be wondering if that person was just nice or if they're flirting with you.
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Only gay god knows. Before the internet, gays would mostly hang out at bars and clubs that were safe spaces for them. However, now that being gay is more socially acceptable and the internet is a thing it's becoming easier to communicated and find like-minded people! You don't have to leave the comfort of your couch to find community or someone to flirt with; you can do it all through your phone or laptop. But what apps should you use?
What should you say? Who should send the first message? Does this person want to date? Or just hook up? Should you meet up with them? Or keep your relationship purely digital? Should you send nudes? There are so many decisions to be made, how can one make the right one every time?
Well, I've learned from some serious trial-by-fire, how to navigate the dating sphere. Sure, I still screw up most of the time, but I think I have a pretty good handle on what you should do and say when chatting with other gays! That being said, I've compiled this little ultimate guide for those who are struggling to navigate or who just want a second opinion on their decisions!
Like I mentioned before, I'm not always right. No one can be! But after serving as the resident advice-giver to my friends and to various people on the internet, I feel as if I'm not only qualified but obligated to share my expertise when it comes to dating online within the gay community. Here is my ultimate guide to all the gay chat apps out there: If you haven't noticed, there are a million dating apps and sites out there. All of which are vying for your business. So which companies are actually worth your time and money? I've done a little poking around both for business and for pleasure , and these are the conclusions I came to:.
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If you haven't heard of Grindr, you must not only be a baby gay, but you must have just hatched because there's no way you haven't heard of Grindr. This app is one of the leading apps out there for gay chatting and hooking up. I'd say that Grindr is the gay equivalent to Tinder in that everyone has tried it and probably still has it downloaded on their phone even if they insist they don't use it anymore. Though, if you've ever used Grindr, you'll know that - unlike Tinder - the app doesn't bother masquerading as a dating app.
People who use Grindr know exactly what they're using Grindr to get: And there's no harm in that so long as you're safe about who you talk to, what information you send, and who you decide to meet up with! The same goes for all other dating and hookup apps. You'll also find a lot of people on Grindr who are looking for people who fit a specific physical demographic think fit, white, and masculine.
There's a lot of discrimination in the gay community which is evident on Grindr. Scruff seems to be the inclusive response to Grindr. While Grindr will always be a staple in the online gay dating and chatting community, Scruff is looking to create a slightly more inclusive space. They also have Scruff sponsored events and an entire section on their site that helps assist with planning a literal gay-cation - one that avoids non-gay-friendly places, unlike the journey Ellen Page went on for her series of the same name for Vice.
Scruff isn't just a gay chat app; it's a community! I recommend this app for all you baby-gays out there; this will help you get in touch with your local gay community as well as help you navigate gay events and travel in general!
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Why complicate things? Gay Chat App is exactly what it says it is: While I like that Scruff built out from their original goal of simply connecting gays on a one-on-one level to facilitating community, I like that this app keeps things simple! And honestly, in the digital age simplicity is something we all strive for in any kind of technology - especially dating apps! Dating is complicated enough, the last things we need are useless features and screens to make it increasingly more difficult.
For all of those of you who have slightly darker tastes when it comes to relationships and sex, this one's for you! Sure, Fetlife is a site that caters to people of all genders and sexualities, but there's no denying that the gay community is thriving on this site. If you want to be linked to other gay people within the kink community, you HAVE to get a Fetlife account.
I recommend having other accounts on dating apps in conjunction with your Fetlife account. Kink can't be your entire life, but it should be a huge part of it if you're into it. Obviously, you don't have to use a dating app to find love or sex, or conversation. You have to remember that there was a point in time before the internet where people met organically and in person! You have to put yourself out there in order to make it happen. And here is one final point on this suggestion—while Grindr, Scruff, and other apps are great tools for meeting people, keep in mind that some of these platforms are more sexually charged than others.
There is nothing wrong with this but if your goal is to date, using the right app is important.
We are talking millions! There are a number of fan pages and groups on Facebook that are specifically designed for gay men who are single and relationship-ready. Remember, the people who are putting themselves out there are doing so with the same motivations that you are—to connect with someone for romance.
Did you know you can search Facebook for people on your friends list that are single?
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You sure can! You might be surprised. Of course, identification as single on Facebook depends on what the user indicates in their profile. But using this approach does allow you to see potential candidates. If they are an acquaintance, why not consider going out for a coffee? Later on the both of you might figure out that was your "first" date.
Again, what do you have to lose? As a population, we gays are very giving. Plus, many of us like to get all dolled up and go to events, like fundraisers for the different causes we support. Get rid of the wing-man. Why confuse folks? In this capacity, you help to fill the table by soliciting people for donations.
As captain, you have control over who is seated at your table—which is a huge advantage for you!