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While a positive mental attitude is the ideal solution for this concern, at the same time you need to take care of yourself, both in mind and body. Work out regularly, whether on your own or at a gym. This will not only keep your body fit and toned but is good for your heart and other systems too.

For the same reason adopt a healthy diet which is based on fresh fruits, vegetables, lean protein and whole grains rather than on processed, high-fat foods. Equally importantly follow a healthy lifestyle by quitting smoking and keeping your alcohol intake within reasonable limits.

While adopting a healthy lifestyle will not guarantee a date every Saturday evening, it is sure to go a long way in making your physically fit, confident and attractive — all plus points when you are out in the dating scene. And who knows as you work out in the gym or frequent the local organic foods store, you may come across someone you would like to go out with.

Come to terms with mid-life crisis Every age group has unique set of challenges and developmental tasks to conquer before one can successfully move on to the next stage. In case of men crossing middle age, these include nurturing close relationships, career management, household maintenance as well as commitment to family and the community.

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However for gay men, many of these developmental tasks lie neglected because of their retreat to "the closet" and efforts in coping with the homophobic society in the past. So at this stage you may feel overwhelmed by the twin demands of your sexuality as well as mid-life crisis. The only way to cope with this is to face up to developmental tasks that still require mastery from earlier years and start working at them. For instance if you have just come out, accept that your interactions with potential gay partners will be marked with some of the nervous excitement of adolescence and it will be some time before you can achieve the equanimity and confidence that straight single men over forty take for granted when dating.

Finally choose something that you can do well and that will give you a sense of meaning and purpose in life. Midlife crisis affects men most when they realize that half their lives are over and there is still so much that has not been achieved. In case of gay men this feeling is further compounded at the thought that so many years lie wasted behind and perhaps the lack of legacy in future. Find your calling and live it out so — this will not only solidify your identity but will help anchor you during your dating trials and in fact can be one of the top ways of meeting a compatible partner.

3 Essential Steps to Lasting Self-Esteem

Life is also quite long. A while back I was sitting in a circle of stoned 20 year olds. They were all saying the annoying things stoned 20 year olds might. One of them was, "I know I'll be dead before I said nothing. But what I wanted to say was, "No you won't. You'll be very much alive with possibly four or more decades awaiting you.

So start living like it. Do you realize how much a person can do in four decades?

You can do all of it. Your youth is a blip on the timeline of your life. Every time you get out of bed and your foot hits the floor a billion possible paths launch out of your toes. It may not feel that way, but it's the truth. You are in charge of your life that hasn't happened yet.

The decades that haven't happened yet. Limitations are only born from your disbelief. Tap here to turn on desktop notifications to get the news sent straight to you.

I'm 40 and gay. Here's what I've learned so far: Smoke pot. I'm realizing why I sleep so much. Don't get bent out of shape over fluctuating gas prices.

Poet Drew Pisarra

It's fucking liquid dinosaur. You are always at the brink of a brand new life. You can't not be. Watch this short film about Kevin's 20 year journey in Music City: Canada U. US News. World News. Social Justice. Donald Trump. Queer Voices. Black Voices. Latino Voices.

Dating Opportunities for Gay Men over 40

Asian Voices. He vanished suddenly before we had a second date, blocked me on Facebook, and stopped following me on Twitter! It started out as a hook-up, an amazing one, and there was no reason to expect anything more. Then he texted and wanted a real date. It turned out to be a load of crap. Yep, after several years the movie-star-smiled, kissing-impaired, fashion-centric blue-eyed beauty contacted me and asked me out one Friday evening—we had kept in casual touch over the years. We made a plan, I waited, he never showed up or responded to my text.

The Advantages of Gay Dating Over the Age of 40 and 5 Examples Why There Are None | HuffPost

When I called him, he seemed fluxed, then told me he was going through a breakup, and as of 7 p. No apology, because why? And how embarrassed and mad at myself I was for being fooled again. This post was published on the now-closed HuffPost Contributor platform. Contributors control their own work and posted freely to our site. If you need to flag this entry as abusive, send us an email. Canada U. US News. World News. Social Justice. Donald Trump. Queer Voices. Black Voices. Latino Voices.