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They were unafraid to be physical with each other and described their relationship as "hot, intimate and sensual"-- just without the act of sexual penetration. I think certain types of intimacy need to be bound by commitment, whether it be a relational or emotional connection. Unlike David and Constantino Khalaf, year-old Chang Xia made the decision to wait until marriage prior to losing her virginity.

She came out to herself as bisexual only a few years ago, and she plans to remain chaste until she weds.

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Although currently single, her theology on sex is the same as that of the Khalafs, regardless of the gender of her partner. Masturbation has long been a contentious theological issue for those who uphold these traditional sexual ethics. In mainstream evangelical culture, to which many WUM'ers subscribe, masturbation is taboo, often viewed as sinful, and sometimes seen as a form of homosexuality.


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I think that is problematic at times, but I no longer feel guilt or shame for masturbating at all. Gilbert Gonzalez, 35, is also a virgin and is currently "courting" someone. A minister in a non-denominational group that works with LGBTQ Christians, he is committed to chastity until marriage for both theological and personal reasons.

My deciding to wait until marriage for most of my life had nothing to do with God," he said. I'm going to fall in love and marry my Prince Charming, and we together are going to discover everything about each other's bodies, and we can get as sexually experimental as we want, freely, with no negative consequences.

I don't have to compare myself to their past and they won't have to compare themselves to my past. I don't think waiting for marriage makes you any more spiritual or better than anyone else," he said. However, if he had to answer whether or not sex before marriage is sinful, his answer is still somewhat affirmative.

Michelle, 26, and Rhea, 27 -- who asked that their surnames not be included -- came to similar conclusions.

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After being in previous relationships in which they were sexually active, together they decided waiting until marriage would benefit their relationship. Finding the parameters to their intimacy was an important first step, they said. We didn't want to be hermits and wear turtlenecks like we didn't want to see anything. Michelle and Rhea are unable to share their love for one another with their families just yet. Because of that, they're not certain when they will be able to become sexually intimate with one another.

A lot of our family doesn't know about us," Rhea said. So we are in this kind of waiting period where we've chosen to honor God in celibacy until we get married. Constantino and David Khalaf married recently, and with marriage came sex.

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