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What does that even mean? If you like someone enough, open your mind to other possibilities.

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Not everyone on a hookup app is looking for sex and even if they are, who gives a toss? Spare us your sanctimony, your grace.

This is fine — nothing wrong with a one-night-stand — as long as he realises that too. We place a lot of importance, misguidedly I feel, on not having sex on the first date. If you feel it between you, then go for it. The Guyliner has been writing about gay dating since and is also a columnist at Gay Times Magazine.

Why Is Gay Dating So Difficult? 6 Reasons From an Expert

See how the Soulmates team got on at The Cavendish, read our full […]. We use cookies to improve your experience on our site and to show you relevant advertising. To find out more, read our updated privacy policy.

Gay First Date Tips - Dos & Don'ts!

Skip to content The Soulmates Blog. Even on a hook-up app, it's definitely possible to let someone down gently. If he doesn't take the hint, tell him your mom's in town and insists on vetting every guy you meet. Just like that, he'll be up out your face. These days, straight-up racists aside, more insidious forms of discrimination can and do creep in.

When someone asks, "Where are you from?

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Similarly, think twice before putting something like "Venezuelan guys to the front" on your profile. You may think you're playfully expressing a preference, but really you're fetishizing someone for his ethnicity. Does being "masc" make him better in bed or a more loving potential boyfriend?

Of course not.

2. We Narrow Down Our Search for a Date Prospect to Nothingness

And in my experience, he'll probably end up doing a Miss Vanjie impression after his third drink, anyway. Look, no one can tell you what should or shouldn't turn you on. We all have different tastes and that's what makes sex and dating so exciting. But some of my most epic hook-ups have been with guys who don't resemble the "type" I think I'm into.

There was an older doctor whose bedroom had a mirrored ceiling and Sure, youth can be intoxicating, but so is a guy who's been to a few rodeos and knows how to handle a bucking bronco. Whether you're young, old, or somewhere in between, it's always sexier when you own it. Packages at the UPS depot are "sorted.

Want to add to the discussion?

We're constantly-evolving works in progress who fuck up, fall down, and pick ourselves up again. Guys who call themselves "sorted" probably mean they're financially stable and ready to settle down.


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Which is great, so just say it that way. Here's the thing: I had "easygoing" on my profile until a second date where the guy made the mistake of suggesting Madonna was "too old" and "needed to put it away. On some apps I use a butter-wouldn't-melt face pic; on others I'm basically standing there in my boxer-briefs.

It all goes back to "know what you came for.

Why is gay dating so difficult? : AskGayMen

But be wary of choosing a pic where you're posing with a celebrity. I remember chatting to a guy whose profile pic had him standing next to Sigourney Weaver. By the time I'd asked how he met her and whether she was nice IRL, it was tricky to pivot back to a sexier strand of chat. Obviously we all want to see who we're chatting to, but there are so many reasons why a guy might prefer to remain anonymous, at least initially. Maybe he's not out.