Setting Australia’s LGBTI agenda since 1979
It works the other way as well, where being associated with a gay Asian is seemingly taboo. What do you think people are saying? All of this is quite intangible, and "it's hard to quantify racist experiences that you encounter in intimate relationships, and from the queer community sometimes. It's just how we feel or are made to feel, really," added Daniel.
The only real obvious proof that can be seen are the toxic messages online "No Asians," "I'm a no rice, no spice kinda guy," etc.
Online Racism Makes IRL Dating Hell for Gay Asian Men - VICE
Sign up for the best of VICE, delivered to your inbox daily. On a date, a guy actually told me "he's a no rice, no spice kinda guy.
Newsletters are the new newsletters. More VICE. VICE Elsewhere. In popular gay Asian colloquialism, there lies the cultural notion that desires revolve around two specific racial choices — rice or potato? This divide seemed commonplace, even manifesting itself within a speed dating event in Sydney.
Why queer Asian men often date white guys
At the event, we were given 12 dates at five minutes each and no one was allowed to talk about work. Interestingly a lot of the people I came across were open to everyone in terms of race when I asked them.
I wanted to pry even further though, so I inquired if there were any patterns or differences in their dating experiences when it came to dating either white or Asian men. Three people separately mentioned smell which I guess is fair.
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A guy called Don told me he felt more comfortable with Asian guys since more of them wanted something similar in terms of a relationship , while Caucasian men were either interested in a hookup or seemed much older than him. Another person, Jason agreed with this and said that he preferred Asian men because they were similar in their traditions.
Jason also felt that other Asian men were culturally more family orientated and more open to monogamy and dating, whereas western guys appeared to be focused on sex. As Eric continued to talk, he revealed how he became more comfortable with his cultural heritage growing up. It was during that process he became more open to dating other Asian men. Jason also recalled a similar experience.
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He believes some Asian men go through a journey where they discover themselves in life, and then are ready to date other Asians. In a sense, being able to attain this whiteness even through association through others marks a sense that we belong to this sort of class. An Indigenous university student has started sharing the frequent racist messages he receives on gay dating app, Grindr to show the wider community how common racist dialogue is on dating platforms, particularly in the gay scene.
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