I was nineteen the first time I met my sister, at Camp Trans. It blew my mind to see so many trans people in one space, but she and I bonded immediately—two genderweird trans women bonding over bad folk-punk and happening to live near one another. She was the first person in the world in whom I actually saw myself. In time, the circle of people in my life who understood each other grew. We built something new together. We became a family of our own making.
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I am overflowing with love and pride for the family we made for ourselves. Grief and joy, weddings and breakups, hospital beds and baby strollers.
I am who I am—I am alive at all—because of my chosen family. This is what I want for you and your friend. It starts today. Make a commitment today to be there for the people who need you.
About the author
In time, friends become chosen family. The people in your life now can be the people you grow with; the people you hurt with; the people you heal with. Be there for one another. Make something new. I made this mixtape for you in celebration of chosen family with a lil side of fuck you for the bigots. Mahdia Lynn is the founder and Executive Director of Masjid al-Rabia —a women centered, LGBTQ affirming, pluralist mosque in Chicago—where she has spearheaded unprecedented programming in support of marginalized Muslims. Mahdia lives in Chicago where she is a senior caregiver and works as a freelance writer, speaker and educator.
You can learn more about Mahdia and her work at mahdialynn. You Know You by Grace M. I am so, so sorry this happened to you. As a lifelong journaler myself, I get a pit in my stomach thinking about your privacy being violated in this way. Journals can be such important spaces for us to explore our feelings, to document our thoughts, and to find clarity about who we are and who we want to be.
I am angry at your mom on your behalf for not only disregarding your privacy in such a personal way, but then using that information to hurt you even further. I really encourage you to not bury your feelings about this horrible situation, but rather to do whatever you have to do to bring them into the light of day. Do you need to sit on your floor and scream and cry so the whole neighborhood hears?
Do you need to put on your heaviest shoes and stomp around the block? Take your time working through these emotions, and allow each one to come and go as they do. Doing any of these things will help these feelings work their way through your system until, eventually, you feel strong enough to tackle the next phase of this horrible mess your mom created. Parents like to think they know everything there is to know about the humans they created, but what they forget is that they created autonomous humans who lead their own lives and have their own thoughts and are allowed to have a secret or two.
Your mom cannot tell you who you are. You know who you are, at any given moment, better than anyone else ever will. And who you are, at any given moment, is exactly who you should be. There were quite a few years in my life when my greatest hope was to passively coexist with my queerness. Being queer has taught me so much and brought so much joy, knowledge, reflection, understanding, and fierceness into my life that I would never want to be anything else.
My greatest hope for you is that you get to this place as well. Know that you have a worldwide LGBTQ community here to lift you up and be your family every step of your journey. Now, what should you say to your mom? I think you have some options and should do whatever you feel most comfortable and safe doing while taking care of your own wellbeing first and foremost.
This may be the case for your mom, too. Nothing more. We even have a whole section dedicated to discussing religion , which seems to be a major sticking point for your mom. Here are some pieces that might be a good starting point:. Additionally, you can sign your mom up for Coming Out with Care , our e-care package for parents whose kids have recently come out, and set a copy of This Is a Book for Parents of Gay Kids with a whole chapter about religion! Both are incredible resources for parents in her exact position. Confronting a parent—or any adult, for that matter—about how they have hurt us can be an incredibly daunting task.
It may feel enticing to never mention the journal reading or the resulting encounter ever again. However, I really encourage you to think about what it would be like to confront your mom about how she hurt you. Writing her a letter detailing how you feel is no less valid than having a conversation face-to-face.
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Addressing what happened and making your voice heard can be incredibly healing, which is exactly what you deserve. However you decide to approach your mom about this, I hope you do so standing firmly in the truth that you know you, and no one gets to tell you that who you are is not who you should be. Grace lives in Portland, Oregon and drinks a lot of coffee as a result. She enjoys Vitamin D in the form of sunshine, please , podcasts, intersectional feminism, and talking to people about their life goals.
Follow her on Twitter gracemanger. Tune in Thursdays at 3pm, and follow the schedule here! Aug 30, Jul 19, Her best friend lives closer and sees her multiple times per week. How can I work on not being jealous that she gets to spend more time with her than I do? Also, how can I just be better at long distance?! Here are a few other quick tips: It gives you something to look forward to.
Cute-barf alert: Also, if she has roommates or maybe that best friend of hers? Be clear on ground rules and expectations. How often do you each want to be called or texted during the day?
See, that’s what the app is perfect for.
Do you always want a goodnight call? That kind of thing. This will avoid a lot of arguments. Do things together, especially Skype dates. He has a really cute personality. I just wanted to try deep dish pizza for the first time. I was checking it out when I saw a hot Asian guy messaging me on Grindr and Jackd. Filed under gaystory gaysex sexstory porn gayguys gaysexstory hookups grindr jackd datingstory gayboy mm horny gay. This guy hit me up on Jackd and wanted to suck my dick.
He was slim and had a decent face.
He said his roommate was a good sucker and was home too. He asked if his roommate could join us. I asked for a pic. His roommate turned out to be a cute Asian guy. I said yes. We go there and his roommate keeps wanting to do drinks and drugs. We make small talk and they do a pretty good job.
One works my dick while the other licks my balls and trading places.
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Then he asked me to fuck his roommate and he had a hard time at first, but I eventually got a rhythm going and it was hot. We both came on his face. I left. Seeing a nice guy right now…. But we have fun spending time together. I enjoy being around him. Today we had lunch and I asked him if he wanted to suck me. His mouth felt pretty good. I started out doggie style and then just laid on top of him as I thrust my dick in. Oh my god.
I really liked him. He was a year-old muscular black guy who lived downtown and he wanted to date me.
He had all the things I loved, cute face, big pecs, biceps, rock hard abs, and a huge dick for me to suck. The first time I got to taste that cock was when I took him to my place to cook for him. He was so cute and we watched tv together. Anyway it was really fun to kiss him and even more fun to take him to my bed and pull down his pants. I swallowed down that cock as far as I could. I licked it all over and watched him lay his head back and enjoy it.
I needed him to cum in my mouth.