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Or suggest your own in the comments! This line was, without a doubt, my favorite way to start conversations on Tinder. One time, a girl gave a complete answer with reasons and everything… only to later admit that she had never seen any of the films and had made the whole thing up in a panic. Honesty is a great quality in a potential sexual partner. A few years later, and the joke was still wildly out of control, seeping into my Tinder presence. Sarah Michelle Gellar has a lovely nose. Cruel Intentions is a great movie.

At some point, I decided this was a perfectly reasonable question to ask people I was trying to make out with. This one led to some of my favorite Tinder conversations. It is very important to be totally upfront with matches about your interests, even if those interests are slightly embarrassing or otherwise chip away at the very cool and sexy exterior of your Tinder profile. This message served two purposes: Sometimes, you just gotta get straight to the point. I think I threatened to unmatch anyone who said zero.

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A sensible question in all scenarios. My Tinder bio at the time read: This is a really easy way to find out if they are a sociopath. T2 is the right answer, but T3 is the gayest. I just need to know. I love it. Kayla Kumari Upadhyaya is a Brooklyn-based writer, television critic, and comedian who spends most of her time over-analyzing queer subtext on television, singing "Take Me Or Leave Me" in public places, and assembling cheese platters.

She has a cat named after Piper Halliwell from Charmed, and her go-to karaoke song is "Everywhere" by Michelle Branch. Her writing can also be found at The A. Club and The Hollywood Reporter, and she wrote the webseries Sidetrack.

You need to login in order to like this post: Good lord, I have poor answers for all of these.. I would ask: I am a little mystified by the rise of Jenny Schecter apologism.


You know, I seem like I actually read your profile. Is there a text-length limit on those things? On the other hand, if someone were to ask my favorite type of dog I would want to meet them immediately. After reading all those printscreens, my first question would be: Every time I get a match I scream and hide from my phone till it goes away. Dana Scully, the root of my love for pantsuits and redheads. Bonus points for redheads in pantsuits. I can confirm this approach works. Also obviously my answer was Zayn simpler times. For reference; Answer 1 is YES!!!

A lot of the times the questions are so ridiculous that I had to respond by saying that I did not ask cuz I am not THAT dorky — which prompted my match to reply. Thus began a 3 hour conversation that went nowhere. These questions are pure genius. Hey Kayla this is a great article but do you think you could remove the joke about sociopaths from 11? I was texting two girls from Tinder last night.

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Hi, I really appreciate your inputs on my situation Dr happy and what could I do with-out you. A great satirical piece. Extensive research into online dating statistics show that there are some set rules that we all need to follow. Netspeak is the main culprit when it comes to unsuccessful first mails. The words if you can call them that ur, r, u, ya, cant, hit, realy, luv, and wat, are the top nine worst words to use in an opening message.

Mails that contain these words will get practically no replies proving that intelligence or maybe just good grammar is an attractive trait in both sexes. Surprisingly, though, ha ha and lol were considered ok to use. Perhaps this is because using both these terms shows a sense of humour, another trait many seek in a partner. But hehe , while still effective tends to sound a bit like a supervillain. Now it might seem strange to say that after we just told you to use correct grammar, but messages that start off with Hello or Hi come across as run of the mill and perhaps a bit boring.

So while you should avoid using netspeak too much, using slang or an unusual greeting is considered a great move. You could always spruce it up a bit and go with a foreign greeting, but make sure you know what it means otherwise you could come off looking like a bit of a Del boy.

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While everybody enjoys compliments on their looks, focusing too much on physical looks seems to imply shallowness. Messages using words like beautiful and sexy will more often than not end up getting deleted immediately. Better to focus on interests, or even better, common interests. Talking about your own interests can give the recipient a good idea of what you are like. Nothing starts a conversation quicker than a question, so do yourself a huge favour and simply ask one.

I know this is not marketing school but, like a marketer, you are trying to reel someone in. And just like an ad agency makes a call to action, you can too, by simply asking about an interest or even suggesting a dinner date. Unless you are actively seeking a partner of a specific faith, then it is probably a good idea to leave out any religious words in your first message.

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Religion is always a bit of a minefield in the dating game and you really need to be careful not to offend anyone or risk being offended yourself. Strange how in the world of dating we have always been told that self confidence is extremely attractive, but the opposite holds true with regards to online dating. Putting yourself down or being a little shy or awkward can come across rather endearing.