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What Is The Deal With Ghosting?

It took a lot to ride on it but I did it as a way of demonstrating to him that he was special. I know … I know … stupid but just being honest. On this particular Saturday, nada.

Ghosting - Dating's Billion Dollar Problem?

I figured he was tied up with something and would reply later. And so by late that Saturday night, I started to wonder if something was up. Was my iPhone working? Was his? According to the display on the text history, the message I sent had been delivered.

That evening I felt a little anxious and had a sick feeling in my stomach that our blossoming romance was over. Ever get that? That knowing sense of dread that tells you there has been a change in the universe? That next morning I woke up and momentarily forgot the events from the day before. It all came rushing back when I noticed the stuffed teddy bear sitting on my dresser. As sadness and anxiety started to build up inside of me, I reached for my phone on the nightstand.

I Confronted the Jock Who Ghosted Me at a Gay Bar

To my disappointment, there was nothing new from him. As I sat in the bed, I became aware of how lonely it felt. There had been several happy Sunday mornings when Adam and I woke up together in my bed, all too eager to get it on. Other memories started to pop into my mind as well, like how much he liked cuddling up while the cold wind howled outside.

I tortured myself trying to decide if I should send another text message. After a good 15 minutes of contemplation, I wrote the following:. By Monday morning, I was kind of a mess. Like a fool, I left a message on his voicemail and asked him to give me a call.

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I got no response. By mid-week, I was feeling depressed and a tinge worried. My friend Robert suggested that perhaps Adam had lost his phone and offered to use his cell to send Adam a text. My phone was working perfectly because other people had received and responded to messages I had sent.


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And that Robert had gotten that message from Adam just confirmed my worst fears. I was devastated.

Theory #2: They Have No Idea What They’re Doing

Over the next several weeks, I tried to lick my wounds. After being summarily dumped without so much as a warning, I became aware of how I had allowed myself to really fall in love with Adam. But given all the indications, it seemed like we both had strong feelings for one another. He even told me that he was starting to fall for me when we were spooning during a DVD movie night. Adding salt to my wounds were the occasional comments from acquaintances like: By the three month mark, I was feeling a lot stronger. Slap me silly and call me stupid but one Sunday night, I decided to accept an invite from a buddy and joined him Jackhammer — a quasi-leather bar where staff go shirtless.

If you have ever been to something like this, you already know it is typically dark, dank and smells like poppers. So there I am, stumbling around 20 guys who were getting their dirty on against the backdrop of dance music playing in the background. No, dear reader. Next time you find yourself at the familiar fork in the road between decent and messy or easy and cowardly, remember that this is not about moral codes: You will run into him again. Instead maintain the cool, forced relations of two people who did each other the solid of settling the score. Burn no bridges: What do you do? But like with any magic pill, there are some serious side effects.

We honestly believe that if you are reading this, you are an adult looking for lasting love. A real, loving relationship based on honesty. That also means along the way to finding that person, you should probably establish those qualities for yourself. Just a simple way of letting them know. The only exception is after one date. But anything beyond that and up to three dates you should send them a text and let them know.

See your phone? Use it.