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4 Tips for Gay Dating in Small Communities

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No jerks and no surprises. Maren, a year-old lesbian truck driver, backs her rig into a loading dock near Des Moines. Nobody bothered to open a new one. Left Tackle Bar in Shoshoni, Wyoming, where the closest lesbian dating app user was 53 miles away. The disappearing gay-lady scene has made it harder for her to find a girlfriend. Or even just a nice gal she can talk to on the phone during her long overnight shifts. So she turned to technology, even though she grew up dating the old fashioned way. In bigger cities, lesbian bars started dying off around Others blame gentrification, higher bar rents, and the popularity of dating apps.

Like kale chips and man buns, the trend may simply be taking longer to reach smaller cities in the heartland.

1. You get the best start to your day.

As gay bars close, more women are signing up for location-based dating apps. Popular ones include Her, for social networking, Moovs for queer friends and events, and Sissr for hook-ups and dating. Research shows gay singles in rural areas benefit most from finding love online. The entire state of Iowa — an area considered gay-friendly by Midwestern standards — is home to only one tenth the number of gay bars that New York City boasts, according to recent gay business data compiled by Slate.

The tech tools also help gay users feel like they have more options in the dating world, users say.

4 Tips for Gay Dating in Small Communities

There actually are fewer gay people living in the heartland — and even most cities in the Midwest. San Francisco, Seattle and Boston have citywide percentages roughly three times higher. Previously Dena would drive long distances to a gay bar to connect with other lesbians.


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It also helps her avoid unwanted threesome propositions from straight couples who have begun to frequent gay bars in the area. Other women are more cautious. Other people I spoke to — even the ones who used the apps — said internet dating is weirdly stigmatized. The old-school idea that only axe-murderers and pedophiles look for love online is still alive in some small towns. In the end, she met her partner in person through friends by being open about her story, she says. In the future, she thinks, neither being gay nor internet dating will be considered taboo — even in small towns.

Even in the Heartland.


  1. LGBT and rurality?
  2. LGBTQ+ Dating In The Rural Community?
  3. The harsh reality is dating is a numbers game.
  4. The A. Filed to: Share This Story.

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