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Ideal for people who embrace all kinds of lifestyles, OkCupid is great for making friends or making a date. While some people prefer to look for dates on gay dating apps that are focused solely on the gay community, this app is nice because it has a large user base. It may also be a good place to meet other people who are currently questioning their sexual orientation.

Grindr was first launched in Today, this gay hookup app has 5 million users across countries. Approximately 10, more new users try the app every day. This app is based on your geographic location, and lets you find guys near you for casual encounters, serious dates, or just friendship.

Hating on Femme Men on Gay Dating Apps Makes You Look Like an Idiot

Grindr has been the topic of many a comedy routine most notably in the stand-up act of Kathy Griffin , but those who use the app love the immediacy of interactions. Read More From Heavy. As the term "gay" emerged in the s and 40s as the dominant label for all men who had sex with men, "trade" gradually slipped from our lexicon; by the s there were two discrete groups: Men are willing to overlook language and behavior they find to be toxic or problematic in order to achieve sexual gratification. But among the gay community, the marginalization and subordination of effeminate gay men continued.

The owner of a leather bar in San Francisco told Life magazine in , "We throw out anybody who is too swishy. If one is going to be homosexual, why have anything to do with women of either sex? Today, Miller and other social scientists believe gay dating apps are "branded in relation to traditional masculinity. Where, they ask, are the dating apps for femme guys?

As this Reddit thread suggests , there'd certainly be a market for one. Gay men who are constantly preoccupied with presenting as masculine tend to have lower self-esteem and suffer from internalized homophobia, according to one study. Other studies have even shown that distorted conceptions of masculinity were associated with substance abuse and risky sex , using steroids , and eating disorders. Miller is a longtime fan of "Douchebags of Grindr," which highlights ageism, femmephobia, and arrogance on the platform.

So they pulled their little phones and tablets out and downloaded every song that chronicles his pied-piping ass antics! Ed Buck made news in when year-old, Gemmel Moore, was found dead in Bucks apartment from a meth overdose. He solicits sex workers usually young Black men to come over his house so that he can inject them with meth and then pleasure himself from their reaction to the drug.

Not as young as Moore or the other men that witnesses have said Buck has hosted, but a victim to the same drug in the same place around the same man. He was years-old and apparently good friends with Buck for quite a few years. This second death has reignited the outrage! The question is though, will he be prosecuted and found guilty this time or will he — yet again — walk free?

Victims stay victims when the people around them choose not to hear their cries for help! Image by Danyol Jaye. I have always been a feminine male. Albeit, I have also worn the damage that this femininity comes with.

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The burden of the target that it places on my back. Quite frankly it was never really meant to include the community of color, let alone the flamboyant community of color. As is the progressive movement of Gay Rights. Gay Rights is usually about the White gay community much more than it is any gay community of color.

However, digging a little further than that, the fight for gay rights and freedoms — regarding men — are also washed over with the masculinity of the movement. The idea of the masculine gay man fighting to love and marry his fellow masculine — or passing for masculine — gay lover. The fact that the feminine gay man is never truly acknowledged is problematic. The feminine gay man — as a figure — has always been at the forefront when it comes to Gay rights and freedoms. Simply because you see us and know who and what we are! We have endured the most abuse, deaths, and ridicule overtime both in AND out of our communities; no matter if that femininity is boisterously flamboyant or simply, shyly too soft in appearance.

It is the feminine gay man that unapologetically allows the spirit of authenticity to flourish into other mannerisms o f the community. Providing comfort and safety for other, more masculine figures to explore without shame who they are. As they are allowed to flicker back and forth between hiding in their heteronormative masculinity. But to simply BE a feminine self-identifying man who is gay is to walk both in the homosexual and heterosexual world with a target and scarlet letter on our chest.

Horrifically more dangerous if you just so happen to be a feminine gay man of color!!! I walk through my life knowing that on some level my feminine ways could bring major harm to my life. As if male femininity — apparently like gayness — is contractable by association. There are some feminine men who are too much even for me. I can choose not to hang with them, but never would I allow myself to think that I should tell them not to be who they believe they are. They have a right to express themselves in any way, shape or form they so choose, just like I do. No matter the degree of male femininity that one might encompass, it takes courage and bravery to live that fem truth.

To be who we are without apology, without hiding, and without being ashamed deserves recognition!


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Vive Le Femme!!! Hello, my lovelies! I hope you all have had a wonderful holiday season as we lead into the new year of As you may know, I have been writing — on and off — on this blog for four long years now. Lying to you and to myself that the anonymity was for the sake of focusing on the words posted.

However, the real reason I stayed anonymous was that I was ashamed. I was scared to put my face with the — sometimes — raunchy topics that this blog has encompassed. For that very reason, I am coming out! Hi guys, my name is Danyol Jaye. However, now you know me for the person behind the words of Diaries of A Fem Bottom! Definitely not heard in the way that people can accept and truly understand. I want to thank those that have supported this blog and those that will continue to support this blog.

Happy New Year!!!!! Friendships , Relationships , Sex. Photo by lalesh aldarwish on Pexels.

Hello, my fabulous ones!!! All of which is fine. Navigating my own personal gay life, I have come to find — long before writing this blog — that Gay men — specifically gay men of color — seem to have the hardest time simply being friends if there is no sexual interaction. Ya boy got a boo!!!

Hating on Femme Men on Gay Dating Apps Makes You Look Like an Idiot - Broadly

It seems like the Gayberverse is filled with men who are walking around in their alone time yearning and bitching about wanting something that lasts. Looking for a connection that hits the depths of their souls rather than just the depth of their loins. Albeit, the pressure to fit in, the fear of being vulnerable, seem to keep every one of us in this cycle of stigma and stereotype that most of us hate but are too afraid to change. Can a top and bottom not be friends without first hooking up? We do! So what say you? Is it really feasible for 2 attractive gay men to be JUST friends? Or are we all just destined to get nasty with one another at some point?

Black Appropriation , Gay Appropriation. In a time where Black and White is anything but, people have become more aware of and involved in the opposition to the idea of racial or as I like to refer to it, ethnic, appropriation.