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1. Ask yourself, “Are you actually ready to have a sugar daddy?”

Kyle, whose real name has been withheld to protect his identity but has been independently verified by INSIDER, says that his "experience is far from the norm. One day, he got a message on Grindr, a gay dating app, that piqued his interest. Over time it had been recommended as well by peers and friends who weren't yet aware that I was already involved.


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Though he says that these kinds of offers are not "sparse" on dating apps, he has noticed a more concerted effort on the part of the apps to crack down on potential financial dealings. For his part, Kyle said he actually found becoming a sugar baby enlightening, especially because he had recently moved to a new city and hoped to learn more about himself, his identity, and his sexuality. It wasn't just clothes.

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His work as a sugar baby meant that Kyle didn't have to worry about bills any longer. Kyle didn't often tell family or friends about being a sugar baby, but he said he felt that he could be more open when he noticed that being a sugar baby became a sort of trend, though there were still some boundaries and stigmas.

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This is especially true when factoring in that many other sugar babies and sex workers are people of color, non-binary, trans, or members of other oppressed, marginalized communities and whose work "can be very different and much more risky, oppressive, and dangerous," Kyle said. In his experience, many of Kyle's pursuers sought "masculine" men and at first, he assumed they were mostly closeted, but he eventually had experiences that expanded his thoughts about relationships, especially with one sugar daddy in particular.

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He was [polyamorous] with his wife," Kyle said. Kyle marveled at how in love Martin and his wife were and he said it taught him a valuable lesson about his "personal journey to find what works for me or what I can envision as a healthy relationship outside of strict heterosexual monogamy. He does, however, still have contact and maintain friendly relationships with two sugar daddies, years later. Even though it's no longer a source of supplemental income for him, Kyle wants to emphasize that "this kind of stuff is legitimate, should be decriminalized, and is a legit profession.

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    What It's Like to Be a Male Sugar Baby

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