Eight years, eight cities: And what do I have to show for all that time spent living outside the U. The list goes on, but here are some highlights: There are good and bad ones everywhere, ones who'll love and leave you and ones who are as hot-and-cold as defective plumbing. Dating abroad can feel like Groundhog Day , only in different languages.
When I first moved to Buenos Aires and guys kept immediately asking me the same question -- " Es cierto lo que dicen sobre los hombres negros? In Buenos Aires, where there were so few black men, the curiosity, though crudely expressed, was understandable. Then the ice-breaking question became a recurring theme in pretty much every city I visited and lived in, including Cape Town, where black men outnumber white men by a considerable margin.
5 Things I've Learned From Dating Abroad
I wasn't expecting the black sexual mystique to apply there I was once even asked by a black guy! The common denominator here, though, isn't just the million-dollar lead-off question but what it implies: There's no escaping guys who are driven primarily by libidinal concerns. Men are not necessarily more romantic or relationship-oriented because they happen to be Italian, or whatever, and unless you're Katharine Hepburn in Summertime , you're not more likely to be swept off your feet by someone who speaks a Romance language. Dating is a crapshoot everywhere. The only certainty is that you'll meet an abundance of men with one-track minds, and the main thought running on that track will be motivated by the possibility of sex at the finish line.
The ones you see online are the same ones you see offline. So if you're one to harbor reservations about seriously dating a guy you met on Grindr, is it because you don't think anyone decent excluding you could possibly be found on Grindr? Or is it because you'd rather meet the next love of your life anywhere but there? Well, newsflash: Even if you meet a great guy while waiting to use the ATM on Istiklal Street in Istanbul or end up having drinks with the one admiring the Nefertiti bust beside you at the Neues Museum in Berlin, there's a good chance that he has a profile on Grindr or at least one of the other myriad Internet meet markets.
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And if you come back from the bathroom on your first date and catch him checking his Grindr messages, just be glad he waited until you weren't sitting across from him. You never really know a guy until you're speaking the same language: When it comes to speaking English vs. And if he's speaking broken English, there are so many conversations that we're unlikely to have.
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At the time, I spoke even less Spanish, so I guess you could say that we communicated using the language of lust. Plus he loved the Carpenters. Despite his language limitations, he sang along perfectly to "Only Yesterday" and "Yesterday Once More," which made him suitably sensitive. I didn't really know him from Fernando, Alejandro or Gonzalo, but we bonded anyway over the course of my first few B.
When we hung out a few days later, we had our first-ever conversation in Spanish, and it was like talking to a different guy.
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