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Add to the fact that our culture is obsessed with imagery and sex, and it becomes almost impossible to escape thoughts of sex.

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As gay men the testosterone levels are doubled in the dating world, and we are constantly playing with fire as we try to think with our brains and not our dicks. Going one step deeper into the conversation about gay men and sex, we have to acknowledge how easy it is to find sex.

Add to the fact that when we go to gay bars, almost everyone in that room is a possible partner in some way, and our chances are doubled. Additionally, many of us grew up insecure and full of shame, so part of coming out is feeling sexually liberated. However, we often mistake the ease and casualness of the sex we can, and do have, as something other than what it really is.

Sex is great, but sex with substance is harder and harder to come by the more casual we are about this physical act. Continuing the conversation from the last point, we often are beyond indecisive about what it is that we really want.

Being gay is confusing. Once we break the norm, and find comfortability within our own sexuality, everything else is up for debate.

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Who do we want to be? Who do we want to date? Do we want to get married?


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Do we want kids? Do we want to be monogamous? Who, if we do meet, we most likely end up sleeping with, and confusing the relationship further. Revert back to points 1 and 2. As gay men we grow up hiding parts of ourselves because gay still is considered different, and in a lot of places, bad.

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We feel like we have to hide a part of ourselves everyday for many formative years, which means we are neglecting other parts of ourselves that should be receiving precious energy. So when we finally do come out, we often confuse this as dealing with our issues, when in fact, this is just the beginning to dealing with what our issues really are. Because we held back from being authentically ourselves for most of our adolescence and the beginning of our adult lives, we get a chance to do it all over when we come out.

The cherry on top of all of this, is that this usually happens in a big city, or at least some place bigger than the hometown we grew up in, where excess is welcomed. The question is, when is enough enough? Gay men are beyond picky, and we feel like we can be because with social media the pool of possibilities feels endless. Finding your perfect match has never been easier with the GayCupid Android app.

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