The people I interviewed were fortunate not to be fearful in their daily lives. Both were comfortable talking aloud to me as I took notes and asked personal questions about their lives, loves and sexuality. In Tunisia gay life has many faces: There is no LGBT organization or office. During my visit I chatted with two very different gay men, one a young student at a local university and the other a retired Italian resident of Tunis now self-employed.
Their gay worlds are similar and different. Ari, a university student studying architecture, and I met at tea time and had creamy thick hot chocolate at a trendy modern coffee shop and later went for pizza across the street. Ari is a gregarious gay youth of 20 maturing out of his twink years. Thoughtful, expressive, verbal 4 languages , introspective, narcissistic and gay. All of which fuel an adventurous spirit of discovery and wonder and also ennui with the world around him.
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Despite the early hopes of the Tunisian political revolution of subsequent elections brought an Islamist party to majority power due mostly to the secularists splintering into separate parties and unable to unite. More than one gay person believes the former authoritarian government was at least more tolerant of LGBT citizens than the present one.
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He has long range plans to emigrate to Europe—Italy or Belgium—where there are open gay communities. But in his private life he does neither. Currently he is dating a French telecom technician whom he met online at Manhunt. French, along with Arabic, is the major language here; sophisticated Tunisians prefer to speak French. Ari talks about himself expressively and pensively; restless and eager to tell his story of life from an early age before 10 when he had his first carnal experience at the hands of a cousin, which Ari at first resisted then quickly liked after a few times.
I wanted it each time. There was no problem because I think I was born gay and my cousin showed me that. This went on until he was ten or eleven. When he finally told his mother she sent him to a psychiatrist who said he could cure him but only if he really wanted to change. How can I change such a natural part of me? It was hard to focus so he stopped. By the time he was twelve, in , he was fully aware of what homosexuality is. The wide world of LGBT life is available to anyone with a computer. A friend of his whom he had known since the age of 10, when the friend was 12, had seduced Ari into the more intimate world of sexuality with kissing, licking and eventually intercourse, which Ari says he liked from the very start.
At no point in our talk did he express any disturbing emotions or trauma from his early sexual encounters. His major complaint is having to hide his truth and feeling negatively judged by society. How funny life is so twisted. Ari has encountered more than one of these eager learners in his youthful past.
In his later teens he experienced the complexities of love and hurt as he dated some unreliable and deceptive boyfriends, most of whom were foreigners. Seeking a reliable stable relationship with a foreigner is always a risky affair for any native LGBT Tunisian since the expat is very likely to leave after a period of time; most are on professional assignments to Tunisia from Europe and must return when they are reassigned or become homesick or lose their job.
Ari readily admits that he is easily urged to love and passion by his heart: Such impulses lead him to slippery feelings for other men, with shallow judgments and intense desires. Ari does not know any older gay men, who are hard to find since they are very discrete. On the other hand, neither he is socially isolated. Outgoing and expressive he does not stay alone long. During our two hour talk his smartphone rang several times from friends at school as well as a couple of messages from his current boyfriend.
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